Thumb twiddling

Finally got sometime to sit down and space out for a while, now that the stories are almost cleared. The fatigue from the last two weeks seems so far away now though really they're not and we'll have to start panicking for the next issue again soon.

It's been about 3 months since I started this job but I still feel awfully new. There're still so many things to learn and maybe as YZ said rightly, I haven't settled into my comfort zone yet. I long for the day when my stories are okayed on my first drafts and I can quit going for so many events. The day when I don't give myself so many headaches at work.

Alright, time to go meet the ex-colleagues for prata and gossip. Good food and good company, yippie!

Tearing my hair out

It seems the more stressed out I am, the more I blog.

Don't know why I'm always running out of time every month. Is there a problem with my time management? Is it the 10 thousand events/luncheons/spa reviews that I'm expected to attend every week that's wasting the precious office hours that can be used to work on my stories? Is it that I'm overly anxious over the quality of work that I produce, worried that my stories will get thrown back at me with tons of re-working to do? (oh yes, it happens.) Or am I just overly sensitive and easily aggravated? I simply don't know.

I'm feeling so blah right now I don't even know how to express it in words, in sound, in tears, in anything. At this rate, I think I'm going to need to see a shrink soon. Either that or I can ask for an extension of deadline which is something I do nOt wish to do!!! *slams head on keyboard*

I wonder why...

... I can't seem to avoid procrastination.

... I can't stop feeling stressed out (though I really have no reason to).

... it feels like ages have passed even though I've only been working for less than a year!

(I'm weighing the option of being a private tutor + freelance writer now. Very very appealing, but no, not just yet. Need more cpf money first, not to mention year-end bonus. Please let me stick it out for at least 1.5 years or until the flat is ready. Please.)

I heart Mayday forever

Went to the KTV this afternoon. Re-visited some old songs, disovered some new ones. Still can't get over how songs written by Ashin always manage to tug at my heart strings, even if the tune is so ah beng and reminiscent of 80s canto-pop. haha. I can't help it la. The words just make so much sense to me. Pardon the poor sound quality of the clip.




丢掉手表 丢外套 丢掉背包 在丢唠叨
丢掉电视 丢电脑 丢掉大脑 再丢烦恼
野心大 胆子小 跳舞还要别人教
恨得多 爱的少
只想越跳越疯 越跳越高 把地球甩掉

And the following is one of my favourite ballads by the band. =)



我为何要存在 为何要感慨 为何颤抖停不下来
你为何要推翻 为何要离开 为何给我这个答案
我们曾经那么精采 我们曾经那么期待
最后你把回忆还我 要我好好过

你话中的计算 准确的伤害 像精心打造的对白
我划开了动脉 也许不醒来 至少昨天无法毁坏
我们曾经那么精采 我们曾经那么期待
最后你把回忆还我 要我好好过
我们最后这么遗憾 我们最后这么无关
时时刻刻每个现在 都在嘲笑我

Note to self

1. Be patient - It will only be a few years before some dreams can be realised in brick and mortar.

2. Be brave - Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

3. Be confident - You can only achieve as much as what you think you can achieve.

4. Be focused - You know the big picture, you know what you want. Don't be swayed by anything else.

Things that make me grumpy

1. Long work days, especially when the work load doesn't seem lighter at the end of the night.

2. When PRs don't reply their emails fast enough or when they're never at their desk when they're badly needed.

3. When people think my job is all about free lunches, free cosmetic/skincare products and attending event launches.

4. When people think writing is easy.

5. When I recall the size of my paycheck.